As most of you may know, our family is in the adoption process. We have recently switched programs from Ethiopia to the China Waiting Child program. And my eyes are being pried right open to new needs in the world of international adoption.
(This is "Evan", He has a serious heart issue and needs a family. Would you please pray for this sweet boy? The Lord hears our prayers!)
I've been hearing and reading a lot lately on ethics in adoption. Lots of people are throwing up red flags and saying that maybe adoption isn't such a great thing. Especially international adoption. I hear things like this a lot..."Why would you choose to adopt internationally when there are so many children here that need homes?" I understand the sentiment behind this statement. I really do. There are many, many children here that need good, stable families. (And if you or someone you know has ever been interested in fostering or fostering to adopt, you should click here and gather information about it.) We have walked with some very good friends during their journey as foster parents. It is a hard work. But what I know about any sort of adoption/fostering is if The Lord is calling you to it, He will equip you for it. I know that's cliché. But it is the absolute truth. The only way I know to answer the questions as to where or why is that The Lord leads us exactly where we're supposed to go. Some might think that sounds crazy. But I think it has to do with a specific child, a specific child's needs, that can be met by a specific family.
But this is not a post about the differences in types of adoption. There are wonderful resources available for study on that topic. What this IS a post about is our calling as the Body of Christ to care for vulnerable children. Children here in our towns AND children there.
While I believe with all my heart that we need to push for more reform in the realm of international adoption, I absolutely do not believe, and you can never convince me otherwise, that seeking to adopt a vulnerable child is wrong. Or that we should wait until every single circumstance is in order before we proceed. Y'all. The reality is children die. Everyday. Because systems, people and families fail them. It takes on different skin here in the U.S. but it is true here as well.
I am one of the biggest advocates you could meet on keeping children with their birth families if at all possible. If there were a way to wipe out any and every case of poverty orphans then sign me up to advocate for that. It absolutely breaks my heart to know that some momma's have to abandon their babies because they couldn't feed another child. This is an injustice.
But you know what is also an injustice? Babies born with deformities who are discarded because they are seen as a curse to their families.
The reality of it is, sometimes children don't need to be with their birth families. They just don't. And I say that unapologetically. I am an adult adoptee.
Sometimes it's easy to talk about the theology of adoption ethics and forget that during all this talking and blog post writing that there are actually real children on the other side of those screens who are stuck. Children waiting for someone to take a chance on them, to step out in faith. I absolutely believe these conversations need to be had, don't get me wrong. I have grown so much because of them, but sometimes I just feel like it can be a distraction. Right this very minute, there is a little boy on the waiting child list in China who is listed as special needs. Do you know what his needs are? He was born premature and he has eczema. Also, he's a boy. This automatically qualifies him as special needs because so many families adopting internationally request girls. He's a real child. And he's a real orphan. There are so, so many children, in China in particular, who have special needs who need families to take a chance on them. Many born with cleft lip/palate and other correctable birth defects. Born beautiful. Their life matters. It matters to our Father who created each and every one of them (and each and every one of us) in His image. And if we are unified with God, through Jesus Christ, then those lives should matter to us as well. So should their birth parents lives. And your neighbors lives. And the children's lives in your own town who may live on "the other side of the tracks".
(This is "Jamie", she has albinism and is need of a family. Would you please pray for her?)
People talk a lot about the cost of adoption. It is true that adoptions (outside of foster care) do require large amounts of money. My guess is when people ask about the cost it is the money they are referring to. But sometimes I wonder, what's the real cost if we don't take up this fight? If we turn away from vulnerable children? I believe that cost is much higher.
(You know what else costs a lot of money? Tahoes. I see many of those. I have nothing against Tahoes. We may need one one day to wag all our kids around! I just think sometimes maybe we need some perspective. )
My guess is that most of us see needs, but then get overwhelmed by the bigness of it all and lose hope that anything can make a difference. I get that. I've struggled with this too.
I believe in the goodness of people. I do. I believe that once we know something, it's hard to unknow it. It's just sometimes we can stay so distracted. A friend in Sierra Leone told my friend once, "the devil walks differently in America".....He keeps us busy. Slaves to our schedules and time. What we can produce. It's so hard for us (for me) to look up. To take notice. To really see. But when that happens....I can't unsee it. And this is why I'm here. This is why I can't stop telling people.
(This is baby "Luke" and he is in need of a sponsor to help cover the cost of his cleft repair that is scheduled for April. Click here for more information.)
I read this quote from Bob Goff recently, it says "I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter." I really don't want to succeed at things that aren't eternal.
Adoption is hard. It is messy. It isn't clean cut. It comes from brokenness, from heartache. Working with vulnerable children in any capacity is a tough work. It can be absolutely heart wrenching. But as a dear pastor once said ... "Sacrifice is the doorway to abundant Joy." In my personal experience, when you enter into the hurt, that is where you see the face of Jesus. Things never quite look like what we expect....when we open our hearts and lives to others in the hopes of offering refuge and healing to them....we find it is us that is offered grace. We find it is us who needed saving.
So this is my plea. This Valentine's Day.....a day when we celebrate love....I'm humbly asking anyone who reads this to consider a way you can be involved in the life of a vulnerable child if you're not already. I am including many links at the end of this post to explore any area that you feel lead to. It doesn't have to be adoption....though if it is something you've considered....I'd love to chat with you about that. There are hundreds of ways to act on behalf of a child. There are ways to help right where you are. I can promise you when you start praying and seeking The Lord's guidance....He absolutely will show you. Because he loves YOU and offers you the grace of joining in His work.
Consider sponsoring a child who needs surgery and extra healing through Love Without Boundaries
Watch this video clip of how you could get involved with this wonderful organization https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3711ME5U0A
Any sort of child sponsorship program. We love the True Light Childcare Project that our dear friend runs. A donation of $30 a month helps cover a child's school fees and uniform costs in Ethiopia.
Also, The Raining Season, runs an orphanage in Sierra Leone called The Covering. They also offer a sponsorship program to help cover living costs for their children.
Become a CASA volunteer (court appointed special advocate) and help be a voice for a child who has been abused or neglected.
Sign up to help tutor at an after-school program. Here in Jackson there are two (that I know of!) great programs that are doing some amazing things. They are always needing volunteers!
The Roar Project is through RIFA
The Hub club is through ARM
Give financially to an organization like, Smile Train, that provides surgeries to cleft lip and palate babies and also trains doctors in how to perform these surgeries world wide.
Consider being a foster family.
Consider adoption. (This link is to our adoption agency, but there are many options.)
Consider helping a family overcome the financial hurdle to adopt. So many ways to do this.
If you're in Jackson, consider getting involved with BabyU. An early childhood education program and support group for new moms. BabyU is always in need of donations of diapers, wipes, etc.
Use your voice. Would you join me on Valentine's Day in praying for vulnerable children everywhere? Would you click this link , do a free registration and pull up actual children's photos who are waiting for a family and would you consider praying over them that day?
Or click here...These are photo listings of children in TN waiting for a family. Prayers are so powerful. And if nothing else, these children could use someone who prays over them.
If you've made it to the end of this, congratulations! I truly believe that love finds a way. Always. It always wins. I really want you to get front row seats to see that.
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